Who am I?

Being stuck in bed for weeks, and going on a month of not leaving the safety of serenity, my home. A lot can go right and a lot can go wrong. I like to listen to a show called “All Natural Being” the host Brian Brawdy and I found an easy connection, a fast friendship, […]


I have been awake since 4am, stinks when you can’t stay asleep. Sometimes the pressures get to be a little to much. That is when it is time to recap. To sort out the details and try if possible to make sense of it all. I have been told that and it is bullshit. Nothing […]

Memories of Mom, Prince, and News

Sitting here listening to Prince, “the most beautiful girl in the world,” and thinking about my Mom. Today is a sad day, having found out that Prince has passed away. Out of that comes good memories and one that is fun to share with you. Today also marked another moment of pride for me as […]

The Battles Continues

The battles continues in my body, head and heart. So many things in such a small amount of time, enough to make your head spin. Oncology has taken me off tamoxifen for two weeks; the idea is a reboot. If we let my body reset and then restart, perhaps the side effects will decrease. It […]

Well back to square one

The good news I finally ate, since Tuesday, I haven’t been able too. Not long ago I tried some soup, and it stayed down, so I will try toast next time I feel like I can eat. The bad news it isn’t sitting nice, and I still can’t sleep. Urgh, so I did some classwork. […]

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Black is white up is down friend is foe trust is fake moment to moment tick tock tick tock time runs out you can’t slow it you can’t do over you can’t undue isn’t it true?

Well it was planned well, sort of …

You know what they say, the best-laid plans, well not in my favor right now but it will get there. I had an important block done last Friday. The muscle was worse than we had seen it before and very much is causing the shortness of breath. I am supposed to be “resting” which for […]

Catching up ~ Changing My thinking

Oh boy, where to begin, well first off, after all, is said and done with multiple tests, I am OK! There is nothing new to worry about, which is a high relief. It is hard at times when I have friends who don’t get the good news; it triggers survivor’s guilt off and on, it […]

I Have Learned

I feel hunger but can’t get anything down. I try to negotiate with my mind on the what if. I talk to myself saying don’t worry till there is a reason. I have survived cancer twice. I have risen to heights never imagined. I have pushed through terror and fear. I have learned to allow […]

Another round of the unknown

People, in general, make the mistake of believing there is such a thing as “cancer free”; that is a false statement of comfort. When we go to our docs for check ups, they report NED “No Evidence Detected” into our charts. My doc told me once, “Can I promise you a cancer cell didn’t hitchhike […]