My son tells me all the time to be selfish and stop worrying about others who don’t worry about me. He’s right, I’m at a crossroads. I’m sure the brain is racing with my cancer scan tomorrow morning. My LAST LAST damn it LAST appointment with oncology! Twice I have had cancer, I don’t want to see those people again. Don’t get me wrong they are nice, but shoot, don’t wish those letters on anyone.

I can’t afford the treatment to extend life so have to just go without it, what life looks like, I’m not sure but taking suggestions.

I have said it before next year is move year one way or the other. With this over my head now, change can’t take a backseat for anyone and there are really about four people who care, pay attention too, and are willing to help keep me alive with quality of life.

I am beyond grateful for those that have come in and taught me about cannabis and found ways to help me use it to better my life, reduce pain, reduce throwing up, and being taught how to micro dose not walking around in a haze or drug induced state of confusion. CB1 receptors being affected can slow the disease I have learned via watching lectures by doctors on this disease. Affecting CB2 receptors is important too. Because the disease affects the autoimmune system increasing anti inflammatory foods and being careful of injuries are equally important. All things in balance helps.

I get to the point of contractors and organ issues it’s time to stop treatments. I don’t want to live in a nursing home contracted getting fed through a tube, I have taken care of patients and looked into their eyes, that is a hell worse than any jail could be.

Maybe someday someone will read this and say, wow, you use to let people die rather than give them the meds….over pieces of paper? Welcome to the USA. When we charge this much for something as simple as nexium, you can imagine what the cost of my treatments are SMH and praying.
#crps #rsd #pmps #cancer

Posted in MY BLOG.

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