A New Year, Treat Yourself With Kindness

15400433_1180570958646872_6104694808471618286_n Going through any journey can be hard, and what is easy for one, can be devastating to another. Personally, becoming more mindful of myself had to come before anything or other people.

Within months of my breast cancer diagnosis, I had lost my home, seen the end of what was my life since age 16. I lost my savings, struggled to keep my son going in his last year of college, and struggled to get the medical care my body needed. How hard the world had become for my son and knowing that losing life as we knew it was more profound for him than anyone involved.

He had his struggles as I have had mine. We have walked together since he was born in truth. We have been each other’s strength, comforter, and caretaker. We recognized we did not see the world for all that it truly has possible for us. Lifting that veil is not easy, it is worth it.

You have to let go of the pain, the pain in our hearts, minds, at the very core of our being. Allow ourselves to receive love. We have human beings wearing pain as much as the shirts on their backs. Every fear or angry thought comes out of our pores as if we have run a race.

The race is not survival, survival is basic instinct, it is intent. The intentional look in the mirror and seeing our flaws and good qualities. Accepting yourself flaws and all as a person worthy of life, love, and laughter.

Somewhere along the twisted course, we come across opportunities to grow as individuals, as a company, as a country. It is there all the time, yet so many missed opportunities. Funny thing is if you want something with a passion, you can make it happen by just believing in yourself. It sounds simple, but it takes work, sometimes it takes a break in your shield to be able to see what your life could be like, by just choosing it mentally and physically committing to be the best you. As Brian would say, “Your All Natural Being.” You opt to gift yourself and everyone around you abundant joy.

When you can believe in yourself, it creates a warmth in you. Your eyes will shine and your smile bigger. That warmth and smile will warm the hearts of friends, family, and even strangers who simply see it. Be in the presence of someone living a quality life and be a person willing to join in. There is no point to wanting a longer life if it is not well lived.

Next time, don’t deny yourself the ability to feel and to show it. Take off the coat of “shame” it does not belong to you. It belongs to those who have opinions about you. Well, you know what they say about everyone having an opinion. Those are the critics the Brian Brawdy and Brene Brown talk of often. They have learned and now pass on to others through qualitative research and spiritual journey. However, you define that, we shouldn’t live in shame, we should live in vulnerability.

When we allow ourselves to take the real road, the road that opens us to vulnerability. We live, we enjoy more of what happens in a day. We see the little things that can become a beautify beach dune or a pile of crap, all based on perspective. Our choice, our lives, and there are no excuses to this. When you allow someone else to tell you how to think, feel, what to show, or who they say you are. You give up your power over your life. We allow the pain to be on us like a thick winter coat with rocks in the pockets weighing us down. Saddening our eyes, and then emotionally overwhelming us. Daring to try is living in vulnerability a life that has an open mind and heart to everything and anything. The possibilities only end were your imagination does.

You ever walk into a room, and something about it makes you feel cold That uneasy feeling that makes your stomach turn, your throat tighten.
When we wear coats of shame, that is how we appear to others. We become the “person” in the room making everyone on edge.

When we choose to control our emotions, our thoughts and accept ourselves for who we are no bullshit, just plain old us. Unique and creative, a pain in the ass and a friend who would travel the world to save you, and you for them. Our connections in this life can be full of passion, of love, and light just by taking off the coat and saying here I am flaws and all, and my flaws are just as beautiful as my desires and good deeds.

I choose to live an authentic life. One in which my world is full of love and light. One that has the strength and courage to walk away from a negative attachment. You know the Chinese believe if you hold an object in your hand and it makes you feel bad, get rid of it. If you own something and it makes you feel good, keep it close and around you in every aspect of daily life.

It is not easy to live in happiness for some, especially if you have suffered through the worst life can offer in your perspective, but you are still here.
That means something; that is not something to take lightly. You are still here.
At this moment you can see at least one thing that is good around you.
You are still here.
Hug, your family, and friends say I love you more than anything. Be kind to everyone you see, say thank you to the gal or guy at the counter checking you out. Offer them your warmth and your light.
Take pictures act silly, allow yourself that one piece of candy, say yes to yourself. You are still here.

When you accept and move forward I can promise you; you will never want to turn back. You will stop looking over your shoulder, and floors no longer made of eggshells but now are concrete under your feet, grounding you. You and I will have good and bad in our lives; that is just life.

How we choose to live each moment, take each phrase uttered, or harbor disappointment, hate, profound sadness, will dictate the totality of life. Those things will and do happen but don’t make them into a coat. Live in the sunlight and choose to see the silver lining even in the darkest of days and you will feel amazing. You will find yourself in the company of others who are just like you. You can share your bare naked soul and move forward in your truth. Become your authentic superhuman self, and you’re worth it.
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Posted in MY BLOG.

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